What a silly "notion"

So, Kings of Leon released a video for their new single, "Notion". I'd love to pretend that I'm about to rip it apart just to piss off Pat, but that's true --it's really that bad.

First of all, the song is pretty weak, but the vid features three pretty random dude-bro music video tropes, all of which make me think it was actually created 10-15 years ago:

1. emoting against a wall (bonus points for brick, as well as facing the wall for absolutely no reason)
2. walking against a crowd (so deep!)
3. fire! explosions! debris! (seals the deal for dude-bro hall of fame)
   

check it out:

Best 'o the web: Kenny Powers Audiobook, Naked Hippie Gets Tazed at Coachella

Clearly Not Fierce Enough...

So now that she's been eliminated from ANTM I can post this picture of Celia at Intermix helping Rihanna shop.

From Top Model to retail... My, how the "mighty" have "fallen".

Mariah Carey Teaches the Japanese How to Throw a Baseball

Check out her athletic high heels.



What a stupid bitch.

Wizard's Magic No Match For Police Brutality

Check this out! Naked wizard gets tased. Forward to a little past 2 minutes...it gets good. The guy reminds me a lot of Pat at least in the penis department.


Naked Wizard Tased By Reality from Tracy Anderson on Vimeo.

We Major

See that adorable floating head in the background... look familiar?

...and on Oprah (!)

How to tell if someone at a baseball game does not actually like baseball

They wear a jersey with their own name on it:

I'm also thankful you gave us your first initial 'the cute one' Jonas brother. Needless to say, this is one of the reasons why Pat hates the Dodgers.

this guy is cooler than E. Vedds

Look! It's a PJ cover that Paul could get behind today:

P.O.S. - New Music - More Music Videos

American Eye-dol

I have a theory that there are three kinds of contestants on "American Idol" who could win, but almost never do:

1. Exploitative
Personally, I am pulling for blind Art Garfunkel over here. He doesn't look half bad in this pic either... and this is pre-makeover, right? Here's to you, Scott MacIntyre

2. Deserving, but not weirdly unmarketable:
But if I had one wish it would be that sweet tatted-up Megan Joy grew into being the quirky, unique Idol I've always wanted. I mean, who could hate Reese Witherspoon's little sister?

3. Obvious would-be winner, but will be more successful as a runner up:
Lil Rounds is the shit. Seriously, I am pulling for her. Let's hope she doesn't become one-note to the judges. To be honest, I agree with Trudy that having 3 kids at home is a lot to leave behind for a reality show, but I still like her.

youtube's greatest hits.

pat as a lil girl:


so on-point:


an oldie but a goodie:

NY Post Headlines

I have been sending some of these individually to Pat, but I thought I would post a group of them here. The Post misses you!

Why I Miss Baseball

Because Dodger Fans suck!




Because all Baseball Players are smoking hot gay guys.



Because sometimes the fans are just as gay.



Because sometimes, people get punched in the face!





Finally, because animals and alien-type creatures can play the game too!

Check out these Babes

Hereeeeeee Comes our next Secretary of Babe......Hilllllllllllllaryyyyyyyy Clinton!!! Ten bucks says she punches Putin in the face in the first year.






Sad news folks, Rosie's Variety Show was cancelled after just one appearance. Apparently, it was because it was Godawful or something like it. I can't wait to see how she'll force her way into our lives and annoy us again!





And a final shout out to the greatest president in US history Wwwwwwwww!

90210 Beach Party

Dear Scott Scanlon,

Steve Sanders and Kelly Taylor threw me a 27th birthday party last week!  I wish you could have been there instead of heading to San Diego.

Obama, President or Undercover Party Dude? ...Brah!!

So, I totally forgot about this beautiful display of young America "rocking" the vote until I consulted with my brain, by brain i mean iPhone and by iPhone I mean iGurl. Anyway, Tuesday November 4th, 2008 was more than a monumental and historic moment in American history, it was also the drunkiest election ever!!! Citizens of the world were on a rampage and ready to explode. The Target, their minds!!

If you were in an apartment and not one of the many foot soldiers on the streets, take a gander at what the battle grounds of New York City looked like.

And I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free and I wont forget the man who...America the beautiful. USA USA USA USA!!!!!

The Timinator!

The Giants 24 year old pitcher Tim Lincecum won the Cy Young award today. He is just small enough to be boyishly cute for you guys and just awesome enough a pitcher for me to have a crush on him.



The last pic is of a bunch of fellow Giants virtually partying with Timmy.

What else Pat missed

I read this book!

I aspire to blogging the most boringest blogs ever blogged on this blog! Anybody just try and beat Puritan history! Anyway, this book is about my forebearers (Massachusetts Bay, 1636, holla!). Pat feels left out because it is about how my relatives liked to burn whole Indian villages alive, including women and children, and shoot to death those that tried to escape. Or, if we were light of the pocket, and didn't feel like wasting good kindling, we would sell them into slavery in Bermuda (hello vacation!) Then eventually we let them come back and build Foxwoods, and now it's the best job in the state (since we don't make nuke subs anymore).
You're welcome for the history lesson.

Pat doesn't miss anything in my life because my life is boring.

But I do still watch things on TV. Here is a clip of raw foodies on Wife Swap reacting to eating hamburgers very soberly.



My favorite part is at the end. Pay attention, and try to decide if that is poo or vomit in the toliet. I can't tell!
Also, I watched the same thing everyone else on the internet watched today:



Baby hippo! Remember the pygmy hippo they used to have at the Fresno Zoo?
Anyway, these two videos show the sum of my human emotions.

My New Hero

Hello me jiggas!!!! Here's a rather humorous video about what else....Mega Man 9! The video is of a teenage dude, who is some major video game critic who makes video from his room, who is playing Mega Man 9 for the first time. Long story short, he struggles and gets really frustrated, cusses a bunch, and is just plain hilarious. No doubt it helps if you know the game a little, but I'm sure you'll be more than entertained.

Paul's Big (Penis Book) Birthday

Last night we had dinner at Red Bamboo, a delicious vegan restaurant. The jokes were hilarious and decidely pun-free, the food was delicious and plentiful and the wine flowed like...wine. It was so nice to have everyone there that means so much to me. Yep, not one person was missing.

LOOK WHAT JORDAN GOT ME!


We flipped through it after dinner and reveled in all the ridiculously long penises. Mikey said "gross!" every time a minority showed up, which in a book like this is quite frequent as you can imagine. My favorites are the super white trash ones, e.g.

and


Pretty cool, huh??

Mikey got me some stuff. I guess it was cool, I dunno I can't remember.