Tryouts for a new Bash Brother began last night. The air was thick with anticipation as a new candidate seemed to show much promise. However, the tryouts soon turn into what can only be described as hopelessly disappointing. Bash Brother hopeful Mikey "90210" Fabiani was poised to take the title. Unfortunately after several failed attempts at PUMPING Jordan was forced to cancel last nights tryouts. Contestant Fabiani was heard to remark "Hey Gurrrl" after loosing his grip and falling to the floor. After nearly breaking both legs in a non-Bash Bro. display of weakness Judges across the board did not hold back their disgust.
Randy Jackson: Dog! You were awful! You should kill yourself.
Paula: (5 minutes of clapping and Stevie Wonder head swaying)(2 min blank stare) America fell in love with the innocence of a kid who just was honest, saying, I did the best I could, and I had no formal training. My vagina bleeds daily (More Clapping)!!
Simon: Why am I here?!
It seems the search will continue. Original Bash Bro. founder Jordan "Pump'n & Dump'n" Farray, now looks to his only hope Paul "new Bash Bro." Miller to fill the spot. Sources say Paul is eager to except the challenge and rape Mikey into humiliation. God speed, Miller.
1 comment:
As life long member of the Bash Brothers I was glad to hear that Mr. Fabiani was disqualified as he is the anti-thesis of all things Bash Brother. Paul on the other hand shows untapped potential, but will he rise to the occasion? If he fails he will join Mikey in the Boo Brother Club.
PS: Can someone please post video of Mikey on that pumping device!?
Miss you guys.
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